This morning I couldn't stop smiling....

I didn't know that I had a "You're thinking of getting driving gloves!?" face.  Apparently, it looks just like my "You're all just a bunch of idiots!" face. 
Who knew!?  I sure didn't.  Apparently Riley does....and I don't mind.  He told me to put it on when I had to "play teacher" this morning.  Nothing like a hilarious 8AM text to start your day on the right foot.  Thanks Hun. 

Background - Riley owns an '06 Corvette....he's kind of OCD about it.  So OCD that he's a little....or a lot...worried about how his grubby hands will get his steering wheel even grubbier.  He threatened one day to get driving gloves.  Apparently I gave him a dirty look.  That was 3 years ago.  He never bought the driving gloves. 

I guess whenever he brings up driving gloves or any crazy idea, I still give him a dirty look.  I have a feeling when we're old and gray....well, when I'm old and gray and he's older and grayer...I'll still be giving the ol' fart a rough time about his non-existent driving gloves.

The reason it made me smile, I'm really not sure.  I guess it's because there's someone in my life, one of my best friends actually, that cares and knows enough about me to distinguish between my "You're thinking about getting driving gloves!?" face and my "You're all just a bunch of idiots!" face, and then feels free to call me on it in the early hours of the AM. 

Thanks Ry. 

Emotional Rollercoaster

The last 2 hours has been an emotional rollercoaster.

When I waltzed into the Graham Center this morning, at 10:00.....an hour or two late...I was greeted by a tiny little colleague with open arms for a hug.  She and I don't normally hug...so this was a little weird, but refreshing.
Turns out the "crew" was building 6-Word-Memoirs to vent out their frustrations in a creative way.  This is why I love working with a writing center.  I think the creative outlet helps boost my innovation and imagination when it comes to research and my project.  Anyways, the quotes range from "Oops! And then there was silence..." to "There's no sense eating bad chocolate"....and mine: "Maybe didn't think this thing through."

That's exactly how I felt this morning....maybe I didn't think this through....double teaching, term papers, assignments, students....blah, blah, blah.  You saw the list on my last post, I don't need to make it over again.  Either way, I'm feeling a little swamped; more swamped than when I was in industry.  That, and my bank account is taking a nose dive.  Beer ain't cheap.

Just as I was starting to deal with the swamped-ness, I came across a statement in a paper I was reading about how bone deals with fracture mechanisms.  Yay, the magic of bone!  It's about vertebral bone, but it's still bone.  They looked at 3 different fracture mechanisms and then evaluated the mechanical properties and the integrity of what was left.  I found out that bone fractures a certain way so that when it fractures it can still be functional...to a certain degree of course, you get a total fracture, you're kind of screwed.  But as far as microfractures, bone is still able to keep going, to give it time to heal.  AWESOME!!  I tried explaining this to my mechanics class yesterday, they seemed interested, but I think it was only because I was so excited about it.

I was excited about it again.  Within an hour I went from, "Shit, I don't know if this is right for me.  I'm stressed, I'm swamped, I'm miserable, I'm ignoring my dog, my personal life is in the toilet and I'm having a bad hair day!"  to "This is amazing!  I LOVE BONE!!!"

From "Maybe didn't think this thing through" to "This just might be my calling."

This just might be my calling.    (blurry eyes)

If you haven't seen this yet, you should.....v. 2.0

Thanks Liz.  I needed this.  It helps me put shit in perspective.  

Beatings will continue until morale improves.

Three weeks ago, I stocked my fridge with a 12-bottle variety pack from Paddockwood, a cube of Pilsner (yeah, I know I can do better, but it was sitting in my closet since Craven and I finally had room in the fridge for it), a 4-pack of Guinness, a 6-pack of Harp and a 6-pack of Smithwicks.  I wish I would have taken a picture.  I wasn't thinking.  There was more beer in there than anything else.  For those counting, that's 52 new beer, plus whatever I had in there before.....call it 60 beer. 
Today, there's 7 bottles from Paddockwood, 16 or so Pil, 2 Guinness, 1 Harp and 1....no wait....no Smithwicks (the last one is in a glass near my LEFT hand).  That's 26 beer left....less than half.  Doesn't even come close to an accurate total count of drinks I've had when I've gone out over the last 3 weeks.  In between there was St. Paddy's Day (didn't bother counting), Ag Bio Grad (2 @ Winston's, 2 @ the Longbranch), Skit Skit (3 @ Winston's, 4 @ the Scuz after) and Fishapalooza (again, didn't bother counting).  That's a lot of booze in 3 weeks.

I didn't think that anything could drive me to drinking.  Well, I've been proven wrong.  The source of my frustration....STUDENTS!!  I blame students.  If I have premature liver failure, I'm going to blame my students.  Point blank.  Even CNH couldn't drive me to drinking.  These students should get a medal....or at least some sort of recognition, other than me just bitching at them....and that's some sort of recognition in itself. 

I just hope my liver can keep up for the next 5 weeks.  Two term papers, 3 assignments, 1 take-home final, 1 written final, 1 final to design, 2 finals to give....and grade, 19 term papers and portfolios to mark, 1 project proposal and a partridge in a pear tree.  (sing it out, it actually works quite well)

I don't understand how he's not a super-villain yet....

Narrator - "In day to day life, there are two separate yet equally important groups: the awesome, who make Dena laugh uncontrollably, and the should-be super-villains, who puzzle her to death.  These are their stories....."  (Dah, dah)..


(Cue police sirens, cut to scene inside a biohazard lab, shit has apparently gone bad, broken glass every where and the chalk outline of a Petri dish is on the counter)

First Investigator - "Apparently they were swallowed."
Second Investigator - "But who would knowingly swallow mutated spores?"
First Investigator - "Someone who's waiting in awe for a scientific discovery."

(Hot blonde lady investigator enters, plastic bag full of green glowing goo in hand)

Blondie - "Hey guys, you'll wanna have a look at this!  Apparently some allergins got into the mix.  He's gone mad!"
First Investigator - "How do you know it's a 'He'?"
Blondie - "Because he left his computer on 'Kitten wearing a tiny hat'.  Only men are that twisted to enjoy that shit."  (Dah Dah)

(End Scene)

But in all seriousness, I have no idea how my buddy Brent is not a super-villain yet.  The previous story happened to him one day in the lab and it has all the making of a comic book super-villain.
He works in a lab where they develop new bacteria that's used in innoculents for crop production.

The project he was working on was one where he developed mutated microbes of some sort.
First element - working with mutants - check

They had to be kept under UV light to stop them from growing excessively.
Second element - working in the dark - check

Brent is allergic to penicillin,  which is what they were working on.
Third element - human aversion to product produced - check

Oh, and did I mention there was SCIENCE! involved.
Forth element - SCIENCE! - check

Have you ever met Brent.  He's semi-crazy, tall and skinny, semi-crazy and way to passionate about microbes and YouTube.
Fifth element - Crazy passionate about his work - check

He was looking at the microbes, in the dark, under UV light and couldn't get a clear look at the medium so he put the dish above his face to get a better perspective.
Sixth element - Lab accident in the making - check

He had his mouth open, prepared for scientific discovery, when he tipped the dish, and the microbes slipped into his open mouth......all this happening in the dark.
Seventh element - Human ingestion of mutated microbes in a darkened lab - Ding! Ding! Ding!
Super-Villain in the MAKING!!!

Now, life would be way more interesting if he actually did start mutating on the spot, mostly because Brent is allergic to penicillin too.  But he didn't.  Sad face.  Not that I want my friends to turn into super-villains...or super-hero, which seems a little more likely because it wasn't premeditated, but only an accident (heroes are more often born out of accidents, super-villains are born of pre-meditation)....but knowing that the actual comic book stories really aren't that far from real life.  Or, at least the real life of my friends.  Who are awesome, because their real life resembles a comic book.

In all honesty, Brent would make a better super-villain than a super-hero.  He's too bitter and angry to be a hero.  :P

How to get "free" pies from students. A lesson learned from Joy Agnew....my office buddy.

So, I was in my office at school, working on a paper and my office-mate strolls in carrying a lemon meringue pie.  Jealous!...but the story has a moral.

For those unaware, this past week was Pi-throw.  The engineering students run around campus and the city pi-ing people in the face for charity.  You buy a pie, have them take it to someone and they can either take it in the face for free, make it a problem for someone else for $10 or buy it out for $20. (I always wondered what people did when they bought it out...can't say I'd be eating a pie that had been sitting in a car all day.....)
Either way, one of her students had a pi sent to her.  She really didn't want to take it in the face and was broke, so she offered to buy the pi from her and send it on.  Win/Win/Win.  Student doesn't have smelly lemon pie filling in her hair all day, SESS gets charity monies, Office-mate looks like a hero.  Well, word got out about the student weaseling her way out of the first pi, so she ended up getting pi-ed later that class.  Poor her.
But here's the fun part.  Today, that same student brought her an actual pie, all wrapped up real pretty-like, as a thank-you for helping her dodge the first one.  Win!

Moral of the story, carry $10 with you on pi-throw week and divert one of your students' pies.  Just make sure it's a student that you figure will bring you an actual edible pie the next day.

I put myself on the no-pi list and gave the charity $50.  I don't want my classes interrupted for one, and for two, I really don't want smelly pie filling in my face/hair/eyelashes for the day.  Ewww.  I'm one of those targets that I can see having a lot of pis sent to.  I was being proactive....or so I thought.

If you haven't seen this yet, you should.....

Baby Monkey.  Riding Backwards.  On a Pig.  Baby Monkey. 

That is all.