Something about a "quickie" here

Quick update before I call it a night.....

I have a paper accepted for publishing.
I can now update my CV with a title "In Press".

That's really cool...and I can't wait to put that paper "to rest"....at least for now.

Also....I had a pretty awesome weekend with my research group. More to come....

Well, I needed a laugh today..

This morning I woke up, I checked my e-mail...there were a lot that went to the trash bin right away.  That's par for the course...and frankly too normal.

This morning I got this e-mail:

I'm apologizing ahead of time for the crappy image quality.  If you have the patience to follow along with this post, you'll understand why I decided to forgo making these images pretty a priority.  Also, I did my best to hide e-mail addresses and names of those involved.  I think someone neglecting to do so when they made the original department e-mail list may have been the root of this problem.  If you've had anything to do with the Division of Biomedical Engineering at the U of S.....you understand the problem....

Anyways...back to the first e-mail.  I was offended, and I thought that using the department e-mail for this was inappropriate.  I think it was even more inappropriate because this e-mail came from a Professor affiliated with the department.  It came directly from them....not through the department Admin Assistant...so they had no respect for the policy.

I shrugged and deleted it.

A couple hours later, this one showed up:

...and 10 minutes later...this one:

...both of these from University faculty (Professors actually).

I guess they BOTH needed to share their opinions on the matter. 

Note the time stamp. About 10 mins later, the Department Head decided to weigh in:

Thank the Lord!! (Pun totally, and ironically, intended.)  I thought it would all be over.  Finally, someone with a little more "authority" weighs in and forever rest your peace....or so I thought...because an apology from the original sender followed:

OK.  I figured that would be the last one.  Someone makes an offensive mistake, someone (and maybe another) expresses their frustration, the person with a little bit of authority steps in to provide a solution, and finally an apology is issued.

Boy, was I wrong.  There was another...

...and another...

...and another (maybe with the first little bit of common sense implied)...

...and another (from the original sender...to explain that they sent it, not the Admin Assistant).

At this point in the day, I had to go to a meeting across town.  So I got in my vehicle, and threw my phone in the glove compartment...because I'm responsible like that and don't like to be tempted to play with my phone while I drive...and went about my day.

When I got to my destination, there were more e-mails!!!  MOAR!!!

This one (from a student...or at least I'm assuming so because it doesn't add to the debate...but I mean, even the previous e-mails from faculty members didn't seem to have any hint of common sense...so I could be wrong):

...and this one (also from a student):

I'm leaving the sender on this one (but no e-mail address) because I want to thank you Nigel.  I want to thank you for putting 9 faculty members in their place and pointing out the obvious:

STOP FUCKING SPAMMING ME!!!

Again...Nigel....thanks!

Note: I didn't even get into the "How I feel about religion" part of the issue, because honestly I'm fucking exhausted.  I've sifted through this crap at least three times...sometimes four or five times just to make sure that I've deleted as many names and e-mail addresses as I fucking could because this was just bloody ridiculous!

Fuck!

I'll save the religious debate for later....maybe...I like to avoid it like the plague...because that's kind of what it is.  There was no pun intended in there.  I'm tired.

ooooo...almost time for Castle....

For my younger friends.

Wow, it's been 2 months.....funny how that happens.

I've had this post in my arsenal for that 2-month period, but just haven't gotten around to posting until tonight.  I finally had a night free of homework guilt. Cool. 

I'm a fan of TED talks.  This one came across my RADAR in mid-July, and again last week during an NPR Ted Hour podcast. I had a re-listen, and the meaning still rings pretty true 2 months later.  (I have it going in the background now.....still pretty awesome.)

This post will be short and sweet.  The talk kind of speaks for itself. Listen to it. If you have an hour, listen to the NPR podcast. It's worth it.

Take-home message: Spend your twenties learning about yourself. Understand who you are. Pay attention to what you want. Make good life choices.  Don't just let your 20's pass you by.  It's not time meant to kill. 

I think I did most of that, but now in my thirties (I still have to get used to saying that...) I wish I would have understood some of this advice about....oh....ten years ago. 

Even if no one sat me down, I think I came across some of this advice by trial and error throughout my 20's.

I changed a lot in my 20's.  A. LOT. (I also spent a lot of time in University...but that's beside the point.)  My career plan changed probably 10 times. Hell, it's still changing...but I think I'm starting to hone in on something. Finally.

I dated a lot of different people in my 20's too.  I'm still slowly figuring a lot of this area out, but I know what I'm willing to compromise on. Ten years ago, I had no idea what compromise really was. 


For my friends who are still in their twenties, here's a talk you should listen to.

You're welcome.

Probably the best math class...maybe ever.

When I'm in class taking notes, I tend to jot down just as many "random ideas" as I do actual class notes.  Sometimes they're witty things I think of, sometimes they're semi-brilliant ideas, but most of the time, it's something really funny either a student or the Prof has said. 

Today was one of those classes. 

I suppose writing down someone else's ramblings may be a little on the disrespectful side....well, not really, but it's kind of uncomfortable recording someone else's ruminating moments, especially when that someone is someone that truly amazes you.

Here's where I stand on it:  I've taught.....I've publicly rambled--even when not teaching.  Those words are usually documented.  It's cool.  It's going to happen eventually.  I'm just so gorram witty and sharp that someone, somewhere will find a little bit of humor in the clutter that is my thoughts.

I figure that you really must be paying attention if you document someone's random ramblings, especially when tensors have never made so much sense before (I totally had a lightbulb moment where the last 8 years of my engineering career made sense in about a fraction if a second.  It was...literally....brilliant--but that's a post for another time I guess.)

Here's some real gems.....I'm posting the "not-so-awesome-ones" simply because I want to save the awesome ones for a slam poem I'm working on. (That's a post for another time.) Also, some are mine, some belong to my Prof.  Some are a combined effort.

WARNING: Lots of these are a "you had to be there" or incredibly nerdy, like elephant-sine-theta and the mountain goat is a scalar kind of nerdy.  If you don't get it....well....that's really too bad *dismissively tap on head*. 

• "Remember the Moment..."
• "Turns out PLANE42 isn't the meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything after all...it's merely 4 nodes in 2 degrees.  Well.....that's disappointing."
• "I'm pretty sure Einstein threw his hands up in the air in frustration too at one point.  Don't judge me!" (We were learning "Einstein notation" that day. Next step--world domination.)
• "Remember that day in 226 when you fell asleep in class and hit your head on the back of your chair...today we're gonna review that stuff." (I honestly didn't think he remembered that. Dr. D. is now officially SUPERMAN! True story.)
• "This is 'THE CHART'. Trust me, it looks a lot easier to understand than my medical records."
• "You now have 5 displacements, 5 unknowns, and they all come from second-order, non-linear ODE's....can't be that difficult? Right?"
• "Pain, I think it's all just a part of the 'simple decomposition' process." (There's like three double-entendres in there.....trust me...)
• "People let you down. Math doesn't"
• "I get tired of people, then I go do math.  Makes me feel better."
• "Apparently you can't do matrix operations without a Q or Star Trek reference.  I'm really sorry."
• "Tensors don't yell at each other. Brothers do."
• "Eigenvalues are better than muscles--they stretch both ways."

And here's one of my favorites...

"I'm hungry.  I think I'll eat while you guys write.  I wonder if I should do that next time I'm at the doctor...pull out a granola bar when he starts to scribble stuff down.  He'd probably scream, 'What are you doing!?'.  'Meh, it's my new thing.'"

Good class.  Makes math fun again.  I need that right now.

Just a small-town girl.....(no, not that kind of Journey)...

So, I found this article a few weeks back...and I've finally had time to do some mental ruminating on it. 

It's a look at female PhD students studying chemistry in the UK, and where (and how) they end up employed after all that fancy schooling.  I can totally relate with the figures they spit out.  I've found quite a few other sources that will agree as well.

As for where I'll end up, I'm still not too sure.  All I'm 100% sure about is that I don't want teaching to be my primary duty.  (If you've been following my blog, you know exactly why; if you haven't, well....just trust me.)

At this point though, I kind of agree with this article. I think I would be "better off" in industry....or with my own consulting company/laboratory. I'm sick and tired with the bureaucracy of Universities...I'm also sick and tired of being poor. Honestly, though....I don't think my reasons are gender-based (as brought up in the article).

As a female engineer in industry (especially an industry that was VERY male-dominated...I was one of six female "test engineers" in all of North America for a very large "international" company.  I think I was one of about 40 world-wide. (There was a pun there, but only the hard-core farm equipment buffs will get it.)  Bottom line, I saw more than my fair share of barriers because I was female; however, none of them prevented me from doing my job.  It may have made it a little more difficult, but I was always able to finish the job to the best of my abilities.

It could be the lack of role models.  I don't think so though.  Although I didn't have any "close" female science-type role models growing up, I did have the chance to meet a wicked-awesome Canadian astronaut (who also happened to be a very nice lady) when I was 11.  That was a pretty neat experience.  From that point on I thought "If she can do this, why can't I." (I'm not an astronaut, but I think I'm pretty damned close to similar (but by far not even close) accomplishments. :P ....)

Either way, I think the article is in some ways correct.  There are fewer women that enter academia, but I think it extends to further than the "gender-related" reasons stated in the article. 

Here's my 2-cents: It takes a lot of gumption, bull-headedness, stubbornness, patience, ambition, passion...and all those other flouncy nouns and adjectives...to finish an advanced degree, no matter what your gender.  It's exhausting.  I think that women just realize that there's a little more to life than everything that goes on in getting that fancy Doctorate, that once they graduate, they throw their arms in the air and exclaim "FUCK IT!" and decide to never have to deal with that crap again.  They sell out and go into industry. 

The men on the other hand, are just so damned excited that they were able to make it through, they have no idea what happened and decide to sign their name on the first dotted line that appears. It just happens to be a teaching position at a University...because the women graduands are perceptive enough to walk away while the walking's good.

You're welcome. 


(Also when I'm done this degree, I'm starting to consider a second Doctorate in Women's and Gender studies or something of that likeness.  We'll see.)

(There is some more deep thought on this subject, but it's late, I'm tired, and I have an assignment to work on. It involves some reasonably exciting math.  I'd rather do that then write.)

Well, that escalated quickly....and by escalated, I mean pretty damn dark.

So, I watched Star Trek: Into Darkness on Monday evening.  I went, I saw, I conquered a medium popcorn.
I went knowing very little beforehand; I refused to purposely watch any trailers or read any reviews....simply because this is Star Trek! It's something sacred, that just shouldn't be messed with. 

Well, about an hour in, it got dark.  Damn dark.  Like Frank Miller Batman dark.  It was messed with.
I don't have a problem with "Frank Miller Dark"....I love Sin City, The Dark Knight, etc, etc...it's that J.J. Abrams decided to dabble in dark and apply it to Star Trek.  *facepalm*

Now, I had this idea come to me in the shower, so it's scribbled in some cryptic form of grease-marker shorthand all over my bathroom wall, so it may only be partially developed.  I need to release it to the world though so I can move on without letting my Nerd show too much.  (5 accusations in 7 days....I think I need to tone it back or get out more often...)

Back to Frank Miller--Batman is completely acceptable for "Dark". I mean, look simply at the character development.  Here's a guy who's seriously disturbed.
Now paralleling Bruce Wayne to the J.J. Abrams Star Trek, ok...I will concede that Kirk is allowed to be a little "dark".  In TOS, or at least according to the 2009 movie reboot, Kirk's parents lived to see him graduate from Starfleet.  In the reboot parallel universe his father died a fiery death is a battle against the Romulan, so Kirk was stuck in Iowa as a spoiled kid that drives his uncle's 67 Stingray Convertible (awesome car btw) recklessly over a cliff.   From this, I can accept that Kirk himself will lean a little bit towards the troubled side of the spectrum. But the whole movie.....wait....wut?

I found a review that pretty much sums up where I stand on the movie. I also had and discussion (although not heated, we seemed to see eye-to-eye on most things) with a friend about how the reboot pulled too far from the TOS.

My take-home: If you have 2.5 hours to kill, and you want to see some explosions, some romantic plot lines (between Spock and Uhura...ewwww--no spoiler, you knew that was coming), some reasonably witty writing (it's no Joss Whedon, but I'll take it), then go and see it. 

If you want what Star Trek: TOS is known for: discovery, SCIENCE!, exploration, peace love and freedom, etc....then go watch the reboot, but accept that it's no TOS.  Not at all.

My favorite part of the movie (spoiler alert) was about 1/2 an hour in, when Scotty and Kirk have a pretty heated argument about the ethics and responsibilities of a Starfleet mission, eventually leading to Scotty's resignation.  I was kind of expecting the remaining 2 hours to take that turn.  They didn't. I was sad. The Esquire article I posted covers this argument pretty solidly. Honestly, I think the debate and moral argument was the most exciting part of the entire Star Trek franchise. (...which I think is why TNG is my favorite...)

One thing that was done very well (and I mean very well) was the character development.  We got to see Spock's "human side". We got to see a little more of McCoy's smart-ass demeanor.   Kirk, well, he wasn't so much of a ladies man (as in the OS), and seemed more like a spoiled brat with an expensive spaceship to do damage with, but there were still more dimensions to his character in a 2.5 hour movie than I think there were in 79 one-hour episodes (I know I'm opening up a huge can of worms here, but I'm willing to take that risk).  At least we got to see a little more of what makes the crew tick.  I appreciate that.

Bottom line: I much preferred the original 1982 Wrath of Khan. :P
Parallel universe or not, but it was still worth the watch.  I'm just wondering if it's worth the thought investment of the past three days.

When pop culture starts to relate to your research things get...interesting.

I've been holding on to the ideas in this post since a little NYT article kept popping up on my FB feed last week.  I also ended up discussing it with some friends over drinks and post-Comprehensive exam (not mine....I don't have to write a Comp...Thank the Gods) banter.  We needed something gossipy to lighten the mood, but being grad students, gossip slowly turned into a full-on ethic and health care conversation.

I'm still not sure where I stand on the issue, but I think putting all this out there and maybe building some discussion might help sort out my thoughts and opinions.

Angelina Jolie's Double Mastectomy.  Yeah, totally didn't see that one coming.  From the public eye, this is a big deal.  Here THE lady, the source of most wet dreams (male and female...thank-you Lara Croft), deciding to have a preventative (and what I feel may have been elective...but more on that later) surgery to remove both her breasts because she knew that she carries the BRCA1 gene--a gene that as closely linked to breast cancer as smoking is linked to lung cancer. Honestly, from a pop-culture perspective, her curves (her acting is pretty good too, but let's be honest here--we're a visual society) are what made her famous...and now she's had them lobbed off.

Now, if I were her publicist, I would have strongly encouraged her to write this article.  Although I've never had cancer, I have experience being the support system for friends and family going through the experience. (In fact, one of the funniest blogs I've EVER READ is written by one of my best friends going through stem-cell treatment in Seattle right now.  Excellent writer. Stand-up dude.)

Support may come in the the weirdest places, and for some patients, this could be a push or inspiration that gets them through. Everyone's experience is a little bit different, and I acknowledge that this could help some patients get over the hump (poorly-used pun intended).
Here's an international sex symbol, electing to cut off the body parts that helped make her famous, all in the "battle" for cancer.  Big deal.

Now, I use the "battle" term loosely because she never actually had cancer.  This was preventative--nothing more. She's in the same position as I am (except with a lot more money in a privatized health care system...a good place to be within a crummy deal). She's seen others suffer through a terrible disease (which sucks), lost some close family members (supreme suckage), and wants to make sure that she'll be there for her family in the future (noble).  She was not diagnosed with cancer, her body has never fought cancer.  Same as me and mine.


The double mastectomy, in my opinion, was elective...not preventative.  (I'll talk about the reconstructive surgery that followed later...promise.)

I'm still on the hunt for articles to help build my case (so posting this may have been preemptive at best), but a couple have come across my feed to help me feel more comfortable with my opinions.

This one is excellent in helping to build my case, because it addresses some of my concerns.
To summarize:

• This situation is not relevant to 99% of women.  The BRCA1 and BRCA2 mutations are very rare.  Although these genes are strongly linked to the likelihood of developing breast cancer, the actual application of this case to the average person is strongly unlikely. Trust me, you're average.
• Preventative medicine is a good thing.  But right now, we don't know enough about the BRCA1/2 mutations to make fully researched and validated screening recommendations, let alone impose a new screening procedure.  I agree, and this is why I LOVE the Health Science field.  There's so much more to discover and understand...but the public needs to be patient.  Rome wasn't built in a day. 

I have other concerns that were not addressed in this article.  I'm still hunting for sources.

• Just because you have the BRCA1/2 mutation does not certainly mean that you will develop breast cancer. Risk is an interesting statistical concept.  The actual risk factor population-wide is difficult to determine, because each patient is different. In Jolie's article, she writes that she had an 87% chance of getting breast cancer. Now my question: Is it significant? Answer: We don't know.  I think this was a pretty drastic action for a "We don't know."
• The BRCA1/2 mutations don't simply affect a woman's breasts. Other sex organs are affected, like the ovaries.  Something to consider...which was briefly brought up in Jolie's article but not strongly addressed...if you're going to go to the trouble to remove your breasts, you might as well go through the hysterectomy as well.  If you're going to be sure, be REALLY SURE.  This brings up a bigger question: Where do we stop? I'm not going to answer that one, again because we don't yet know enough. 
• After Ms. Jolie's breasts have been removed, is there still a chance that other tissues will be affected?  I think the answer could be yes.  She had the target tissue removed, not the BRCA1/2 gene...the "root cause" is still within her biological system. Again, we don't know if other tissues could be at risk once the breasts have been removed.  I'm not an expert in molecular biology, but from a materials perspective living tissue is still living tissue.  Other parts of her body with similar composition (perhaps the thyroid) could be at risk. Should she be concerned about the possibility of other cancers?  I think so.
• What about the reconstructive surgery and the imposition that it may place on the system?  I'm not an expert in public health policy, and I honestly don't intend to be; but I'd like to build an understanding of the field.  In Canada, after a body-altering surgery like this, the reconstructive surgery is not considered cosmetic. (I think...please correct me if I'm wrong. This is where the post-Comps conversation Tuesday comes into play. I have a reasonable source on this, but I want to make sure.)  My understanding is because of the psychological benefits, should the patient decide to have reconstructive surgery, then the Canadian Health Care system will "cover it". I use this term loosely because I'm still uncertain on the details. I have no idea how this would be dealt with in a privatized system, but I think it opens up a whole other can of worms that needs to be addressed.

There's a lot of "We don't know"'s in Jolie's case.  Still too many for me to firm up my position and support the wide publicity and likely over-interpretation of something that doesn't apply to the "average".  Is it worth the pomp and circumstance?  I think so.  Even if only one patient has found a little bit of hope...it's worth it.  Is it worth developing a screening program? Yes, but not until we know more, much more.

I'm still hunting.  Maybe that's the researcher or the engineer in me...never really satisfied until I'm certain.  In Health Sciences, the cool thing is that we're never "certain", only "strongly convinced".  There's always that outlier that skews the data, the 0.1% that reacts to the PAX and turns into a Reaver. (OK, so it's a made-up scenario from the Firefly 'Verse, but there are cases exactly like this in the real-world...I just wanted to be a little light-hearted...gimme a break.)

Point being, as professionals working in the Health Sciences field, we have to understand the issues as best we can, but when putting it in practice remember that each patient is different...each risk is different...and honestly, I don't think we'll ever be certain. I guess that's what makes life interesting.

Rockstar: Dena +1

Yes, I do have other posts on the back-burner...some that require a little bit of research to support my "opinions", but it's Friday afternoon and I just came from a pretty exciting meeting with my Thesis Supervisors...and I really don't want to write anything more that requires research--and I need to get this out before I explode. 

I'm actually starting to believe that I'm "awesome". 

I've never really believed it, even though my friends keeps telling me I'm "awesome", and people keep me in their networks because I'm "awesome", but I've never really believed it.  I know I'm a "good person", but never to the extreme of "awesome".  After today's meeting, I'm starting to believe, just a little bit, that I'm pretty awesome. 

I have two really amazing (I was going to type 'awesome' but quickly hit the delete button--gotta switch it up for writing's sake) supervisors.  Like, really amazing. 
They work really well together (which is essential when you have to manage two 'bosses', when in most cases one is more than enough), they value me as a team member (given my experience in the 'real world', THIS IS HUGE), they push me to think a little deeper (which usually ends up with me working in circles--but that helps me reaffirm what I know, in a twisted-OCD-kind-of-way), and they're not afraid to let me fail or stumble around frustrated in the dark for a little bit (which is sadly how I learn my best lessons).

I'm wondering what I did in previous lives to end up in such a wonderful position.
How did I end up working with such great (and incredibly smart) people?
How did I end up researching something I love so much?  (I don't care what anyone says, bone is fucking FASCINATING!!)
How did I end up working with the Vet College in a side project?
How did I end up being scouted to start up a lab even before I finished my PhD?
How the fuck did I get into a PhD program!!??

I went into today's meeting with a cluster-fuck of ideas.  Kind of like I took all the "brilliance" in my brain, smashed it into a schedule, and wished that it would work.

I came out of today's meeting, still with the "brilliant" ideas, but now they're starting to fit into a plan...a plan that makes sense and I should realistically be able to finish in 3 years.  HUGE! 

If I can pull this all off, it might just affirm that I actually am awesome.

My apologies.

Sorry I haven't posted during any of April. 

Honestly, I have no idea where the bloody month went.  I think I spent most of it hiding under a rock because people are stupid (long story, of which I will not blog for reasons of privacy).

Right now though, I have about 3 or 4 posts percolating in my noggin, and they'll all come out in due time.  Some sooner than others. Timeliness is a factor I guess.

I'll have something Friday....after my "planning meeting" with my PhD supervisors. 

I'm not sure how you can realistically plan the next three years of your life (as well as the most important project in your career) in an hour-long meeting...but we're gonna try. 

I'm a Rockstar  (or, so I've heard). We can do this.

No one's forcing you to be here...

I've had this post up my sleeve for quite some time. Over the past couple weeks, there's been a few events that have brought this idea back to my frontal brain...and I feel like a good rant.

In some fields having a graduate-level degree is helpful.  In engineering (in general) it's perhaps not so helpful...and in some cases can even hinder you.  The cases of which I'm venting have to do with some grad students I've encountered in engineering. 

In my (limited) experience, people choose to do grad studies more because they "want to", not because they "have to". I'd like to think that we're there because we want to be, knowing that we should be able to get an engineering job in industry...anywhere really if you're willing to settle (quite a bit) for your first placement.  The jobs are out there...you just can't have high expectations.  Also, there's no shame in getting a service or retail job to hold you off until you find that engineering job. A job's a job's a job.

I'm also under the assumption that no one is doing grad studies "for the money".  Grad studies is not something you do because you're being lucratively paid....if that's the case...then....well....it's never the case. If you want to be reasonably monetarily compensated for your effort and time....don't go into grad studies.  Hell....don't even stay in academia. (You move into academic administration...but that's another argument for another time.)

Bottom line: you have to make some trade-offs and you come to accept it. The sooner, the better. Life lesson - Making Adjustments.

These are some of my observations of a couple of cases where I don't think the thought or concept of understanding "trade-off" was the case.

WARNING: Get a beer, it's gonna be a long one.  (I'm getting one.  It'll help the process. Trust me.)

WARNING^2: If you don't like opinions, stop reading.  There's a lot of opinions.  They're mine.  You may not like them.

Case Study #1 has to do with an individual who was in our research group and has recently left (...and while letting this post stew for an additional couple of weeks they didn't like the group they left for...and tried to get back into our group...unsuccessfully...and for what I think is good reason...I digress...). 
All of our projects are intermingled in one way or another.  Although their leaving won't immediately jeopardize my project (it may in the long-term, but because I'm just starting out I have enough time to plan around it), it has jeopardized at least two other individuals in our group.  Right now, we're scrambling to try and make it work. I'm disappointed because we scouted out this person and brought them halfway across the world, because they had what we thought we were looking for and they seemed willing to work with us....at least that's how it started out.

I haven't spoken to them since they've left (because I've been too busy doing my own productive thing...and 2 weeks later after the new development, I really don't want to talk to them), so I don't know the entire story. Expectations may have been out of joint, or it could have simply been a personality conflict.  I don't know. What I'm going to express is only my side of a very big picture.

My immediate supervisor is a young supervisor - I was his first student to finish a program.  We're a team just starting out, so we're all learning how to go through this together.  It requires some flexibility, some understanding, and a lot of patience.  It's not without growing pains, but we all walk away from the situation learning something.  Honestly, I think this is the most valuable part of my grad program.  Someday, I'll be supervising people in academia...and if I'm not there to be a part of those growing pains, I'm never going to learn from them.  I'd rather have a supervisor who's not perfect where I can learn leadership techniques as well as SCIENCE, than one who's supervised so many students that they just don't care.

Another reason I really like my supervisors is because they give me A LOT of freedom to make my project my own, and a lot of freedom to make my own mistakes.  If you're not a self-starter or driven....our group is not the group for you...hell, research is not for you either.  Yeah, sure I was "given" my direction on the first day, but my final Master's project looked nothing like the project I was given...and it was mostly because I chose my own direction. I expect the same with my PhD project.  What I come out with at the end is not going to look anything like what I'm expecting to start with, and I think most of it will be because of the direction I'm choosing to go with.  I think that's another part of the learning process...the "I don't see why you need a baby-sitter" part.  I think some people learn this lesson at different paces than others.

I think the supervisory technique was part of the reason why this individual left our group.  I think their expectations were out of wack. I think they were expecting to BE TOLD what the direction of their project was going to be, instead of independently thinking out what they want to explore...or where the field is lacking.  This person had a BIG opening to play with - like SCIENCE never ever performed - and I don't think they rose to the occasion.  A PhD isn't going to be easy.  If they were, they'd just be handing them out...like BA's.  If they were easy, there wouldn't be a near 50% incompletion rate. The problem is bigger than expectations...but I think that's a conversation for another post.

Bottom line, I think this individual felt entitled when they shouldn't have. No one was forcing them to stay here.  They've left the group, but they're still pursuing a PhD as far as I know (recent events since initial writing may have changed this a bit).  I don't think their expectations have changed any...and disappointment might just follow. I guess I can step back at this point and say "Not my fucking problem."

I do have hard feelings.  Their leaving has screwed our group over, just a little bit.  Enough to become inconvenient.

Case Study #2 has to do with a conversation I had with a grad student in engineering about fees and tuition increasing disproportionately to the rate of pay.  I honestly wanted to tell them to suck it up or get out, but I had to be all diplomatic and shit at the risk of escalating the situation for someone else. Fuck.

Again, if you want to be paid fairly for your work...DON'T GO INTO GRAD STUDIES!!!  I just wanted to tell them to suck it the fuck up, find another way to make ends meet. It would have come out kind of like, "You have an engineering degree.  If you want to be paid fairly, go out and be a fucking engineer, not a self-entitled whiny grad student bitch. Go out and try a real job for a bit...then come and complain to me.  It's called "life". It's not fair.  Suck it up and move the fuck on."
I work 3 part-time jobs to try and make ends meet.  I'm exhausted and cranky.  I don't wanna hear how you're not getting paid enough and fees are going up.  Find a solution or get the fuck out of Dodge. End of story.

I honestly don't know where I'm going with this.  I think I'm just fed up and exhausted.  I'm also at the listening end of a lot of poorly thought out complaints (code for whining). Fuck. 

Wanting vs. Needing

(I had started writing this Wednesday evening...but a lot has happened between now and then....so the focus may shift....slightly....)

It's another "relationship" post.  (This is your disclaimer.)

Last Friday night, I was introduced to this TED talk. I was drunk when I first watched it, but after another sober(ish) viewing, I'm still a fan.

There's an argument around the 5:18 mark where the Dr. Perel says "Fire needs air".  She then goes on to discuss responses to the question: "When are you most drawn to your partner?" There are two common answers, when they're away or there's distance, and when they're at their most confident and in their element, but I'm viewing them from a comfortable distance.

I can whole-heartedly agree.

She also mentions that there's no neediness in desire.  Wanting someone is one thing, but needing is another.  I'd rather be wanted than needed.

I received a message from someone whom I thought I'd never hear from again (someone I was attracted to...and still attracted to, to be honest) and it sparked a conversation with some of my friends the other day....on want vs. need.

With that, I'm starting to prioritize my wants....and separate them from my needs.

I want to do my own thing.  Also, I never want to prevent someone else from being able to do their own thing.  I want the devotion (as a friend of mine put it) of someone...and knowing that although they could be half-way around the world doing their own thing, and I'm on this half doing mine, we're still whole-heartedly devoted to one another.  It's going to take work.  No one said life was easy...but when I get down to it....that's what I really want.  Both key elements of "desire" as Perel discusses is what I truly want.  I want someone who's confident in their own abilities...and someone who's willing to try and make our relationship work while we're both building on our own abilities, maybe on opposite ends of the globe.

After the last couple days though (here's where the "after Wednesday element" comes into play), I'm truly exhausted after being on my own, doing my own thing (and succeeding at the most important parts), and kicking ass.  Being independent, intelligent, ambitious, and driven is really hard. I just want a cheering section to keep me from crumbling some days (today in particular).

I've received some pretty nasty e-mails over the last couple days about how some individuals don't agree with how I performed a specific job I was asked to do.  Honestly, I want to turn it around on them and tell them that if they think I did so poorly, I will gladly give them the ability to do this job next year.

I don't know how I can let a few people really get to me....and I don't think having someone as "my better half" will help me out. I can see how having someone to support me no matter what will be really nice right now....but this time I guess I have to do it on my own.  It sucks.

I'm also really torn about an event coming up in the next week...directly having something to do with this Job I'm being called on.  I feel like I should go, because I'm a visible part of the organization and it would be more of a PR service than anything.  I don't want to go because I feel like I have a target on my back after the last couple of days, I'm not receiving any of the awards presented (of which I'm a little peeved because I honestly think someone else dropped the ball)....and I don't have a date...so I'll be facing all this on my own again.

It may seem trivial, but for this one night next week...I don't want to be on my own. 

Unreasonable Emotional Attachment? I Don't Think So.

Last week my parents bought a new 4-Runner.  This is both good and bad news for me.  Good because I will now get their "old" 4-Runner. By "old", I mean 2009, which is by no means old, but much newer than the 1993 model that I drive right now.  It'll be retired.  That's the bad news.

Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate all their help and actually kind of look forward to getting a newer, more reliable vehicle for "dirt cheap" - but I'm really gonna miss the Ol' Girl that I drive right now. 

It's kind of bittersweet.  Common sense says Level Up, but my heart says...well...yeah....I'm not sure how to put what my heart says into words. (That's another entirely new problem.)

I love my Ol' Girl.  Just keep everything maintained and her gas tank full and she'll get you where you need to go.  There may be a little trouble along the way, but I know her inside and out....and so far I've been able to fix all the immediate issues that need fixin'.  Ol' Girl is kind of like Serenity, she needs a little lovin' every once in a while, but if you know what needs workin' and where to be lookin', she'll tell ya what's worth fixin'. 

She's perfect for what I need.  I don't do a lot of driving...period.  Maybe once or twice a week, and usually to school and errands.  Very little highway driving; even fewer gravel roads. But when I need to drive, she's there.  Ready to go.  Fires right up.

I KNOW that vehicle.  I know where exactly all her corners are...I haven't hit a thing yet.  I know how tight to turn the steering wheel before the power steering starts to leak.  I know how to rev her up to get rid of the cold-start fan belt squeal. I know that the fan doesn't always work, and how to get it going.  I know that the back window won't go down if it's colder than -15.  I know how hard to push her on the highway to keep her gas mileage at optimum (...not any faster than 105). When I'm driving her, she's almost like an extension of myself.  I keep her full of gas, her oil and miscellaneous fluids up to date and she gets me where I gots to go.  It's wonderful.  (She even dealt really well when Dad and I tried to jump a relay to keep the defog working....)

I'm not sure how I feel about trading her in for a fresher, newer, more reliable model. 

Also, everything is manual on her: windows, locks, 4x4...even the transmission.  Not just anyone can jump in and get her to go.  You gotta know what you're doing.

Manual everything.  Another reason why I love Ol' Girl so much.  When she's broken, she's easy to fix.

On the newer model, everything I've come to love being manual....is electric.  If something breaks, it means a trip to the shop, or learning how to hack the computer. I'm not sure how my toolbox will feel about this.

Dad asked me to think about selling Ol' Girl.  That's where I'm really torn.  She's not worth much...just tires (new last spring), battery (new this winter), and spare parts (engine has 420 000kms on it).  I know I won't get what she's worth. 

Also, I don't want to sell her to just anyone.  She needs a good home.  Selling her is kind of like realizing that you need to sell your "old reliable" saddle horse that taught you how to ride...only because you don't have enough feed for everyone this winter.  You have to let him go, but you don't want him ending up at just any ranch.  You want him to go to the family with the tiny human who's just learning how to ride; so he'll teach that tiny human how to be a better cowpoke.  You know that you could leave your kid on that horse, and he'll always end up at home at the end of the day....even if there is a little bit of trouble along the way. Ol' Girl is just like that.  I know I'll end up at home, there just might be a little bit of trouble along the way.  Trouble that I have no problem getting out of.

I want Ol' Girl to go to a kid who wants to learn how to maintain a vehicle.  A kid who's just learning about driving, engines, all that good stuff and needs a vehicle that's seen a lot, but will teach them a lot along the way.  Honestly, I don't think that kids like that exist anymore.  When a kid turns 16, it seems like they expect their parents to get them something brand-spanking-new.  Something with bells and whistles.  Not something that they can learn with. 


I'm planning on making the switch-out in April, when I'm home for Easter. I'm going to keep a piece of her to put in my "treasure box".  I still haven't decided what part that'll be; it's going to be small but significant. It'll be a really sad day.

Adventures in Mechanical Testing - Part 2 (Otherwise known as "Pick Your Battles")

Day 10 of Mechanical Testing and things are still moving reasonably tickety-boo (knock on wood).

Yeah, there's been set-backs and nothing has gone over perfectly, but it's mechanical testing and research.  I've come to understand why Stewart was so mind-numbingly calm whenever something went terribly wrong.  I guess he had to be.  With all the things that could possibly go wrong (and all the things that did), it would take too much energy to get excited about every little "oops".  Even the little "oops"'s are wearing thin on the Vet Resident.  She has a tendency to get freaked out about little things, but I think she's learning not to get freaked out unless I get freaked out.  Honestly, I don't have the energy to get freaked out. Freaking out is exhausting.

I'm about as calm as the Vet "Attending" (if you want to call him that). I saw him for the first time in a little over a week on Thursday.  He called me the "Instrumentation Elf".  We have a system, and within it I'm completely ubiquitous and anonymous. They text me when there's legs to strain gauge, I go over and gauge them, then I go back to the test or to my office.  In and out.  No fuss, no muss.  It's almost like I'm not even there....they leave me legs (like cookies) and I gauge them and bolt (like Santa leaving presents). He wasn't even worried that there was something wrong.  He figured that everything was going as well as it could until he heard from me.  He's right.

This whole process has me thinking about how it's worth picking your battles.  Yeah, gauges have failed, legs haven't quite been set correctly, and the list goes on and on; but if I got even a little bit upset about every little thing that went wrong, I'd be even more exhausted than I already am.

Brings me to discuss another battle that should have been wisely chosen....but wasn't.

There's a GSA Referendum coming up, and as GSA Council Chair, it also makes me CRO for the referendum aka a lot of work at the worst possible time.

Long-story-short: There was a misprint in the Sheaf; student in charge of campaign panicked; asked me how the problem should be solved.  Frankly, the Sheaf's inability to check facts or proof-read is not our problem.

My proposed solution - Write them a letter, tell them they fucked up and move on.
I told the student that this would be done, and no more...because it's not worth getting excited over.  She panicked - "What if people vote on the wrong day? Should we put up posters? Send a mass e-mail? Change the referendum date?"
I told her to STFU and CTFD (calm the fuck down)....but not in that many words.  That would get me into trouble.

True her concerns were warranted, but this wasn't worth picking a battle over.  An oversight on your part does not make an emergency on mine. It was a problem worth solving, not a problem worth wasting energy and getting excited over.

Funny how my life seems to overlap itself....like an after school special.  Weird. 

Adventures in Mechanical Testing

So I'm a few days late.  Sue me....in fact, Sarah - kick me. 

Today was Day 6 of mechanical testing, and we had our first "oops".  It wasn't a catastrophic "oops", but it was a big enough "oops" for the Vets to get very, very frustrated.  I was cool with it.  "Oops" happens.  It's Mechanical Testing.  Throw Research on top of it, and you have a pretty frustrating and ugly beast that needs taming.  Sometimes it's never tamed, only reluctantly caged.

We solved our "oops", after a little bit of creative thinking and negotiation (that's why I have the Engineering Degree), and we should be able to test it out tomorrow, provided there are no more "oops"'s.

This round of testing reminds me why I left industry in some parts (constant plan changing - so much so that it's hardly worth making a plan), but it reminds me about what I miss.

I miss being called "Trouble". I miss working with my hands.  I miss decompressing data - I may change my mind after dealing with 20 +1G .txt files - but for now it's cool.  

I don't miss making plans up as they go. I don't miss trying to squeeze more work than humanly possible into a very short time frame. I don't miss waiting until a test finishes to see how it's all going to turn out.  I don't miss it when there are no results. 

Either way, I'm sure this month will garner it's fair share of "oops"'s.  I'm cool with it.

I think they're cutting the wrong jobs...

Ok, so I'm a day late, but I think it's a good thing. Mostly so I can let my head cool.
Yesterday morning I was pretty pissed off. Still am. Problem still exists, but it's solved as good as it can be given the different procedures in place at the University. Damn.

To set the scene.  I received a scholarship in December that I can claim given I defend in January (CHECK) and register in the PhD program before January 31 (CHECK). The way the letter was worded, as long as I met these conditions, I could claim the scholarship from January to April (4 months). I never heard anything from the grad secretary, so I assumed that everything was fine.  I assumed wrong. Fuck.

Well, someone along the way dropped the ball (I'm going to point fingers at my grad secretary) and I didn't get paid for January on time.  I was anticipating this paycheque, so not getting it has thrown a huge monkey wrench in my finances. HUGE.

I phoned the secretary yesterday morning.  Politely told her to get her ass in gear and asked how soon I could get my paycheque. Turns out I can get part of it next week (yay) but it'll shift ALL my U of S paycheques between now and May (WTF!?).

I talked with HR, we came up with a plan.  The least shitty of plans.  They were all pretty shitty.  Part of the conversation went like this:

HR:  "This kind of mix-up is really common for employees receiving a stipend and doing casual work. It can be expected."
Me: "Just because they've come to expect a mix-up like this doesn't mean that it's correct or warranted."
HR: "Well we haven't had any complaints yet."
Me: "Expect one."

I'm working on my complaint letter.  I guess I'm not the first person to get fucked over, and according to HR, I won't be the last. Stupid HR. Stupid U of S Financial Department. Grumpy, grumpy, grumpy.

The secretary then phoned me back (kind of unprofesisonal-like) to stick up for herself because she felt like I was laying blame on her. Which I was, but that's not the issue. I think if she'd actually been doing her job correctly, then she wouldn't feel the need to defend herself.  But whatever.  Here's part of our conversation:

Secretary: "But it's not my fault that he (my supervisor) didn't submit the form on time. I can't start the account without knowing where to take the money from."
Me: "That's fine.  Did you do everything you could to make sure he returned the form on time?"
Secretary: "Like what, send a reminder?"
Me: "Yes."
Secretary: "Well, I don't think it's my responsibility to remind people to submit forms."
Me: "You're an 'assistant'.  You 'assist' people.  Sending reminders 'assists' people."
Secretary: "I don't think I should be sending reminders."
Me: "You may want to add it to your standard procedures. It's called a 'follow-up'. You may want to start doing everything you can to help the process, because it's flawed and now my finances are screwed up from now until April - provided I don't get another scholarship. I'm going to talk with the Department Head and see what I can do to file a formal complaint."
Secretary: "Are you sure you want to go to that much trouble. It's not my fault."
Me: "There's a problem, and if no one knows about it, it won't get solved. Goodbye."

I'm still pissed. Honestly, I'm just glad that I have REALLY UNDERSTANDING PARENTS that are able to help bail me out of a financial mess that I really didn't cause.  It's the end of the month - there's bills to pay.  I don't want cheques to bounce. Good thing my fridge is full, because although they helped out, this coming week is going to be pretty meager. 

Good thing I'm coming up on "crazy fucking busy" too...less time to get into trouble.  Trouble requires coin.

Scientists vs. Engineers - and the shift required in my brainz

I had a really great meeting with my supervisor this afternoon.  I didn't leave feeling like a RockStar, but I didn't leave feeling like a DumbAss or a FuckUp, so I'll consider it a WIN!

We're working on the second paper from my thesis - which probably should have been written ages ago - but the whole thesis thing got in the way.   Either way, there's some edits (naturally) and some more work before I pass it on to co-authors; not as many edits as I expected, so that's a good thing.

In peer-reviewed literature, there's a section where you discuss your work and all of the goodies that come with it (naturally called the Discussion).  It's also an opportunity to discuss the limitations, or pitfalls, wish-I-did's, cracks, flaws...etc, of your research.  If there are no flaws, then you're SCIENC'ing wrong.  I have no quarrels with that.  (In fact, there are so many "doing it wrong"'s that there's an entire Twitter hashtag devoted to it:  #overlyhonestmethods.  I'm giving this buzz line partial credit for me surviving my defense.)

Anyways, I listed a bunch of "things I'd like to change if I was doing this over", and "things that I have to accept that I cannot change" (this sounds familiar...).  Most of them were correct, some I pulled from previous work and tweeked it to apply (which I won't do again...promise), and some I'm still trying to gorram figure out. Either way, I was getting so bogged down by all the limitations of what I did, that I started to forget just how awesome and important my research actually is.  My writing had to change.  My writing is a little bit of my soul.  I guess I'm giving away little bits of my soul in my papers....scary thought.

This led us to the "philosophical" part of our meeting (there's always one, most of the time it relates to BATMAN, but not today....maybe).  It got the two of us really thinking, and helped me gain a little bit of perspective on this whole "SCIENCE!" thing. 

As Engineers, we're trained to find flaws.  I've spent the last 8 years building stuff, identifying what was wrong, then fixing it.  Or (even better) doing equations about flaws and failures so I know if they're going to happen or if something is even possible.  We design things to get around a flaw, or to correct a flaw.  As long as something isn't quite perfect, or quite working the way it should - we go in and re-design the sucker to make it work.  Engineers are trained to aim for perfection (within budget constraints of course - also a flaw). As long as there are flaws, there is more work to do.
Bottom line: I've studied "How stuff is wrong" for the last 8 years.  I've been trained specifically to find out what's wrong, fix the problem, then make sure it doesn't happen again.  Throw that monkey wrench into the mentality of the Scientific Process and that makes for some pretty self-deprecating writing. 

As an Engineer, even if there's something incredibly exciting with the work, we still get bogged down by mistakes and "wish-I-hads", that we forget just how awesome the SCIENCE is.  It sucks!

The conversation ended with my supervisor telling me that I shouldn't be so hard on myself and my work.  This is SCIENCE (well, part of it is, but a small part) and I don't have as much control over an experiment as I would a design or a model.  There aren't as many limitations as I think.  "Only opportunities." 

I think it was a big light bulb moment for the both of us.  I like leaving the meeting on the same page of the same book.  WIN.

Gonna get all "Sex in the City" up in here. Grab some wine.

So I was standing at the bus stop and managed to "turn my brain off" for a few minutes. 
I started thinking about inspiration and creativity...but it slowly moved to relationships...and the notion of settling for "Mr. Right" or "Mr. Right Now".

Is it worth dating "Mr. Right Now" at the possible expense of finding "Mr. Right", and is it really worth going through the heartache of finding "Mr. Right", when you'd be satisfied with "Mr. Right Now"?

So I have this friend (who is female, but will remain nameless), and she's dating "Mr. Right Now".  They do make an adorable couple (like sickeningly adorable sometimes), but they're both aware that each other is "Mr. Right Now"/"Ms. Right Now". It works so well, because they're both on the same page, of the same book, borrowed from the same library.  Right now, neither is looking for anything more than simply dating the other.  It's cool that way.  And it works.  Most of the time. 

Frustrating part is that she knows that she can't see herself with him for the rest of her life.  She sees her future with someone else, in different time zones, across the globe.  It doesn't work with "Mr. Right" because they're both academics and neither wanted to hold the other back.  Which I'm totally in agreement with (I don't know how I'd feel, knowing that I allowed someone to give up on their dreams, or I'd prevent them from reaching their total potential, simply because we fell in love with each other).

Sometimes I wonder if it's better to play conservatively, and only bet on the hands where I knew I was able to win, or if it was worth laying my chips on the table and doing some bluffing from time to time. By betting to win and waiting for "Mr. Right", am I missing out on a lot of "Mr. Right Now"'s? By holding out, am I actually hindering heartache? Is it a function of my own strength, or just the ability to realize that idealism is tough to achieve?

I've dated a few guys, not a lot, but a few.  Mostly first dates. Very few second dates.  Even fewer third dates and "relationships" - if you want to call them that.  Honestly, I don't think I've been in a full-out, Facebook-official relationship in over 12 years.  Scary.
I think that's mostly by my choice. Although they've mostly been good guys, they just never seemed like they were worth investing in--or some force of nature just didn't work out.  The weirdest thing is that each of them was progressively more suited to what I was looking for than the previous.  Could be by chance, but it's like I was refining a search.  Like an iterative learning process, narrowing down on what was a "need", and what I was willing to compromise on.

I'm wondering if that was by chance, or by choice.  Am I purposely choosing gentlemen (and yes, all but one were gentlemen) who are closer and closer to what I think that I would be able to spend the rest of my life with?
If that's the case, then the next docket has a lot to live up to.  The search is getting narrower and narrower; honestly I don't want to put that kind of pressure on myself, let alone someone who I may end up spending the rest of my life with.  (Not to say that the next person I end up going on a date with will be the person I spend the rest of my life with, but given the refining trend, it doesn't leave much room for error - unless I want to spend the next 50 years alone.) 

Then there's also the idea of leaving it up to chance.  Will I eventually "bump into" "Mr. Right", say in the hallway, or the lab, or the grocery store; or is it worth accelerating the process through active seeking (like online dating, speed dating, etc).  "They" say that 1 in 5 relationships start in online dating, and I'll believe "them".  Fewer of my friends are meeting their mates face-to-face, and more online, through fibre optics and keyboards.  I mean, I've tried the online dating thing (and there's a really promising prospect - but I don't wanna jinx it), but I'm wondering if we would have met each other eventually through house parties, hijinx, and mutual friends, or was it worth speeding it up - potentially cross-referencing wires and leaving the component to spark, smoke, ignite, and eventually smoulder?

I've purposely avoided dating for the past year, simply so I can focus on finishing my degree on time (of which I succeeded) and making my mark in the scientific game of dice (which I'm still successfully working on). I think I'm ready to jump back into the dating pool, but I'm also wondering how much patience I have for the whole process. 

Is it all the pining and heartache worth it, or should I just stand back and watch the parade?  Should I settle, and try for "Mr. Right Now", or do I find the strength and keep on trucking to seek out "Mr. Right"?

Honestly, I just hope he shows up sooner, rather than later.  I'm not getting any younger, and the older I get, the shorter the courting period is going to be.... 

I hope my kilted knight shows up pretty damn fast.  I could just crack beyond the state of repair.

A lot has happened int he last 2 months.  I'll make a list:

• I finished writing, editing....and defending (yay!) my thesis.  Yup, officially "Mastered" SCIENCE!  It feels pretty good.  I'm working through the last few edits right now before I can submit it and finish all the paperwork. And...and...and...I was nominated for a "Department Thesis Award"...so that's cool.  At my defense, there was more discussion about my referencing style and tiny text on figures, than there was about actual SCIENCE....so that was a nice feeling.  Also kind of confusing, because I thought I was ready for the "tough questions" and I really didn't get any....Weird.

• I've been accepted to the PhD program in Biomedical Engineering.  Not just have I "Mastered" SCIENCE!, but I'm soon to "Doctor" (or as I like to think of it...."doctor" as in fix, or heal, or make better) SCIENCE!  I just have to make sure all the paperwork mentioned above is complete and I can move on to bigger and "better" things.  I remember when I called in to the BIOE office when I was weighing my options on where to apply; and asked about the demographics of the program, just out of curiosity.  The secretary looked at my application and pretty much said, "Good luck getting in.  You don't have a 90 average and you're Canadian."  I wonder if she's eating her words now, or if she's just simply cranky and bitter to everyone.

 

• I've been awarded a Scholarship for the first 4 months of my PhD program.  Initially it was supposed to be for full funding (36 months), but because I wasn't enrolled in the PhD program when I was awarded it, it's only for the first little bit.  Apparently the BIOE program is afraid of commitment and will give me the first little bit, but I have to re-compete for the next large bit.  I'm not worried, just frustrated that I wasn't able to get full funding.   I'll have to re-apply in April, but if things keep going at the pace they're at right now, I should have a fairly strong application.

 

• I finished reading the entire Harry Potter series.  Big accomplishment.  Common accomplishment.  I'm glad I visited Hogwarts.  I want Wyatt and Chelsey to start pumping out tiny humans so I can read to them all about Hogwarts.  It was a good ride. 

 

• I FINALLY watched all 14 episodes of Firefly and Serenity.....like 6 times.  It's been on my list for a few years, and seeing as the series is (sadly) so short I was able to plow through it in the last bit of thesis preparation.  (I won't be surprised if a Firefly reference slips through in the last bit of my thesis edits.  I can't get Captain Mal out of my head.)  I also want to introduce the 'verse to Wyatt and Chelsey's tiny humans.  They should get on that because I have a lot of adventures to go on with them.

 

• I unpacked my sewing room....finally.  I've been in this house almost 6 months and haven't unpacked the basement yet.  I rediscovered a couple projects where I've cut all the pieces out (the most tedious part) and have left them for dead.  Now that I'm finished Mastering SCIENCE, maybe I'll have a chance to put the pieces together into something semi-useful like a blanket, or a backpack, or a death-ray gun.

 

• Christmas and New Years has happened in the middle of all this, but there was also the final bits of Mastering SCIENCE, that I really didn't even notice.  Sadly.  My supervisor told me to take some time off.  That'll never happen again, so I think I'm going to take him up on it.  As for when that "time off" will happen....it's a mystery....really.