Here, I thought I had 3 solid days to do SCIENCE! (aka my proposal) before the weekend hits and I have to build 3 hours worth of class material, 1 lab and start marking again. My saving grace.....I don't have Water Management assignments to mark this weekend.
Too bad my Spectroscopy Prof didn't know about my plan and how much work I actually do compared to the other students in my class. I think I took on too much. Only 9 more classes....only 9 more.
At least all my prep for RCM 300 is done for the rest of the term. That helps out a little bit, but not enough. Maybe I'll just focus on building one lecture worth of material by Tuesday, finish the midterm and finish the 2nd lecture and the lab for Thursday after I've handed in the Beast. New Plan. I don't like New Plans. They take all the fun out of my Old Plans. Shit.
He gave us a take-home midterm to do this week. I kind of get it, being that it's not difficult but tedious. I had a look at it tonight anyways, mostly because with building my Water Management presentations and case studies, my weekend is shot. I'm pretty sure it'll just be a matter of sitting down and writing it, but if the recent assignments are any indication of how much reading and work is involved, I'm going to need more than a week. It took me a SOLID 3 days to tackle the last assignment, including a full-out curb-stomping. Turns out in class today that I did most of it right, but I really don't have time to go back too deeply and do corrections. I think I'm going to correct what's on the surface and call it good. The midterm is worth more anyways. The first question is about 7 or 8 pages of writing already. I think if I make my energy diagrams really big, that might help me out.
Funny thing, I had 3 different students e-mail me asking me how I tackled the last assignment. Honestly, I have no idea why they're asking me and not my Prof. I'd go ask my Prof.....if I actually had time to ask him questions that is. It's not like I know what I'm doing. Maybe I'm just hiding the ass-kickery better than the average student in our class. Who knows....??
Either way, tonight I had mentioned that I had finished the assignment, lived through the beating and was ready to hand it in. I had mentioned that it's taking me a little longer than I'm used to to catch onto the concepts. After my "Industry Time" with "Table, Formula, Go!", having to go back and re-learn (or in this case newly learn quantum chemistry) takes more time than I had anticipated.
I got the comment, "What do you mean 'Table, Formula, Go!'? You don't have to derive anything from basic principles?" (On the side there was - "Dude, that should totally be on a t-shirt: 'Table, Formula, Go!' with a little checklist....that'd be epic").
To which I replied, "No, someone's already done that for me. They're called 'Researchers' ('or Grad Students', as I expressed under my breath)"
"So, all this stuff we're doing is bogus?"
"Yeah, if you can't put it in a table with a simple equation it's pretty useless to anyone in the 'Real World'." (QED)
"Hmmmm, I wondered what people with actual jobs did."
At this point I just shook my head, face-palmed and moved on. Obviously someone who had no experience outside of a University. Academia at it's finest! Go team!
Bottom line: I'm really looking to buy some time. I've committed myself to going out on Friday and Saturday night. Looks like I may not sleep until next Wednesday. Hopefully insomnia sets in at the optimum times this week. I can only hope. Either way, I'll get my latte IV set on "High Drip".
On the plus side, my love-life...or maybe-there-could-be-something-going-on-here...is cut off, severed, in the toilet and back to being non-existent. The kind, blue-eyed butterflies were cool while they lasted, but I was willing to invest and he wasn't. I guess if it was really meant to happen he'll come back (it seems like we're still on good terms....he's THAT nice of a guy....I could be kicking myself in the ass for letting that one go) but I'm pretty sure that I probably killed all hope of something happening even before it maybe had the chance. Shit. Kicked in the junk by Passion and Timing again! Yay!
I wear my tattered heart on my sleeve because that's the only way I know how to wear it...exposed for all the world to see. Imperfections and all. It's in pieces and I'm cool with that. It's who I am. What you see is what you get. No games. It makes me Awesome!
It makes me Too Awesome! Too Amazing! Too Unattainable! It makes me Damaged Goods. Deep-down, I am Damaged Goods. It's going to take a very brave and equally Awesome, Passionate and Well-Timed guy to patch it all up. I'm waiting. Come find me.
If you're out there, I'm right here; behind my quantum chemistry curb-stomping ass-kickery, immersed in peer-reviewed journals on bone-breakery, reading Petroski's "To Engineer is Human" for S's and G's, building presentations on an area that isn't even in my research interests, crushing dreams, telling students that they're not trying had enough, trying not to completely neglect my adorable dog, desperately fighting to keep it all together and hoping and praying that Passion, Timing and Awesome don't kick me in the junk again.
On the plus side, I got offered to teach RCM 300 again next fall. They're talking about signing me on as a permanent lecturer if there's enough students to teach. That's cool. I'll stick with the RCM department as long as they'll have me.
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