"OK. Why?"

...and here's the disclaimer:  THIS POST MAY OFFEND, READ WITH A GRAIN OF SALT.

I normally don't blog at work, but I've had an evening to reflect on the situation and think I'm ready to share with the world. 

Last night was my teaching class.  My touchy-feely, warm-n-fuzzy, everyone's-included teaching class.  I've decided that I'm going to grin and bear it, I'm sure I'll get something out of it.  I may even jump through the hoops they lay out for me. 

Every class has that one person that won't shut up.  That's fine, I've learned to accept it, deal with it and move on.  Last night, in some group work, I was grouped with that person.  Cool.  I don't have to do the talking.  I can deal with this. 
I'll lay out the premise for the group work.  We were discussing motivation and how to get students motivated, then given a quick quiz.  Our "assignment" was to think about the questions, group up and then discuss what we thought were the correct answers.  There was a kick though.  We were timed, and it was kind of a competition.  If we got the answer correct on the first try, we got 4 points; 2nd try was 2 points and 3rd try was 1 point.  The incentive was to get as many correct as quickly as possible. 

Here's the question we were discussing:

"Which one of the following are students most likely to identify as a motivating factor in university classes?
a) The instructor's use of student-centred behaviours
b) A course environment that is relaxed, and includes videos with guest speakers
c) The perceived relevance of the material to their future needs
d) The instructor's physical attractiveness and sense of humor"

Now, as far as the pre-group thinking, I was torn between (a) and (d).  I'd like to think that the obvious answer was (c), but I'll get that out front...it's not. 

Now, when we were discussing our selections, "that student" went first.  They picked c.  They explained why they picked c.  Cool. 
We went around the table, so I was next, and I stated that I was torn between (a) and (d).  I liked (a) because I interpreted it as how the Prof can relate to the students.  If teachers can relate to a student, it builds "relation"....here's my RCM training coming in....and that's the foundation to communication and in essence learning.  I also stated that although (d) may be rash, I could see it also being a valid answer. 
I was cut off by "that student" with:

"It's politically incorrect!  That's not the answer!  We're not discussing that possibility! Moving on!"

I thought that was rather rude and inconsiderate.  I replied with "But wait, you haven't heard why I think it could be correct.  You may not like what I'm going to say, but that doesn't mean that it isn't true or that it doesn't exist."

I went on to discuss that I agree with the "sense of humor" part, but that I had problems with the "physical attractive part", however there is what's called a "Halo Bias Theory" (thanks JD and Saija) that proves that in general, people are more likely to trust a good looking person, and they there is also the preconceived notion that if you are good looking, you must also be very smart.  I added that it may not be true and we might be very uncomfortable in thinking, and possibly knowing, that our students judge our looks every day.  Although it may be insensitive, it still happens.  We're only human, we make judgements; unfortunately our society might be shallow and make incorrect judgement, but they're still making them. 

The two other people in our group didn't have a chance to speak and I asked them what they thought.  One reply, "Yeah, it may be inconsiderate, but I can see where you're headed with your argument."  The other reply, "I don't like it, but that doesn't mean it's not true."  Of course each of them had a little more to add because I gave then a chance to defend themselves and a chance to agree or disagree. 
The reply from "that student", "Well we obviously don't agree!  Let's move on!"

I was at the point where I was about to throw my hands in the air and say "Fuck it! Move on!".  I think the only thing that stopped me was...and here's the kicker....."that student" is a Rabbi.  But, in my good will, I figured that by now that I set the stage, we could discuss it a little more depth and we could find actual reasons to disregard my opinion instead of just throwing it out completely. 
Instead, I replied with "OK, let's try to hash this out rationally."
 There was tension, and "that student" kept quiet while we discussed some of the other options.  We ended up coming back to this question at the end. 
Turns out the actual answer was (b)...the one with videos and guest lectures.  I don't know if I totally agree with that either, maybe because it doesn't provide me with motivating factors....at least motivating factors to show up to class...but I'm not normal.  Honestly, from my point of view, I think that if a Prof brings in too many guest lectures, or too much video, they could jeopardize their credibility; mostly because we're not getting the information from them, but from another source that we could find ourselves, at least in this day-and-age of open-source information and torrents.  But that's just me, and as we can see...I'm not always right....and I don't need to be right all the time.  I just need to be understood and accounted for. 

I think the part of this situation that bothered me the most was that my idea was immediately discounted.  "That student" didn't reply with an "OK, but why?"  or an "OK, how?".  I think these are the two most under-used phrases to tell the truth.  "OK" meaning 'I accept that there may be other possibilities that what I'm able to perceive".  "But why?" or "How?" meaning 'I'm open-minded enough to discuss this',  'I think that your idea may be worthwhile investigating', 'You may not be correct, but I'm willing to listen', 'I challenge you to build on your idea'.....that sort of thing.  And in all honesty, I expected a more open mind from a Rabbi. 

NOTE TO SELF:  Try not to immediately discount students' ideas.  I'm usually pretty good with this, because I believe that everyone has something they want to say about everything; they just may not realize it yet.  Give them that chance and help them realize it.  After I was discounted and offended, I'd hate for any of my students to feel that same way.