I also feel that we each need our own support system. I could be blowing this whole situation out of proportion, but I don't think that we should be selective on the support we receive from others, and who we receive it from. I think the most meaningful means of support can be the ones that we least expect.
To provide some background, I have a friend getting married this summer. I think he's a great guy; I've always thought he's a great guy. The girl he's marrying - on the other hand - I don't think very highly of, simply because from what I've seen she's manipulative, needy, and just not a very nice person. I honestly think my friend could do better.
I was invited to their wedding, and permitted to bring a guest. I decided to bring along one of our mutual friends, who was not invited. I'm not sure why he wasn't invited; honestly it's not my business to know. I do know that he feels the same way about this wedding as I do, but because we love our friend, we want to be there to support him, no matter what decision he makes. That's what friends do - we support one another - no matter what bonehead decisions we make.
On the RSVP, I was asked to provide the name of the guest I will be bringing - likely for table seating...I thought this was no big deal. I provided our mutual friends' name. This morning I received an e-mail asking that I do not bring him along as my guest. I was quite taken aback. I think it takes quite a bit of nerve to tell me who I should be bringing along as my date. Going to weddings alone is hard enough, even harder when you're not "allowed" to bring along someone who not only wants to support your mutual friend, but can also provide a little bit of support to you.
I don't want to start rumors....but what if we were dating? (For the record, we're not, but I honestly wouldn't oppose it....he's a good catch as far as I'm concerned.) What if he's been my support system for the past few months when I was going through a tough time? (Which he has been...but I don't think he realizes it.) What if he simply wanted to support his friend in the same way that I want to support him? (Which he does.)
My initial reaction was, "Well, if my date isn't 'allowed' to go, then I won't be going either." If you're going to be selective on the support you receive, then you really don't need mine after all. I may have been quite angry at 3 AM when I composed this e-mail, but my beliefs still stand: (I'm also including the thread - simply for context...names and such deleted.)
So, to the girl whom I think is going to make my friend miserable for the rest of his life - I understand if you may have hard feelings over this, but if you're going to act like a spoiled child, be fickle, and refuse to make amends on what should be "the happiest day of your life", I still want to wish you the best...just from afar.
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