It's all a matter of perspective

This post stems from a recent conversation I had with one of my students (turned coffee buddy) earlier this week. 

She was "studying" down the hall from my office (I use the term studying loosely because although there were open books, there was a lot of laughter...I'm assuming they were "on a break") and I had a few moments, so in typical Dena-fashion I stopped to have a quick chat. 

She asked how I was doing and I gave out an exhaustive sigh and replied, "I'm a little stressed and I kind of want to kill myself, but otherwise it's all good."  She then went on to express about midterms and stress and stuff....we laughed.  She then asked when I was planning on finishing up. 
I replied with, "Maybe 3 more years, but likely 4 or 5." 
"But, you just said that you want to kill yourself.  You're signing up for more?"
"Well, yeah.  I guess there's a few reasons.  I don't want to give up my project to any idiot who decides to get a graduate degree.  I'm too invested in it and I love it too much to just pass it off.  Also, I willingly haven't taken a sick day in 2 years."
"But don't you miss those?  I mean, they're kind of there to help you out."
"Yeah, but at then end of my stint in industry, I was looking for pretty much any excuse to stay home sick.  As stressed out as I am, I still work when I'm sick; I just love what I do so much."

We chatted for a bit more about other stuff...like Profs., and shoes, and committees, and assignments; I left the conversation feeling pretty self-validated as to why I decide to put myself through this "torture" every day. 

I haven't taken a legit "sick day" in 2 years.  I could not go to work, jump on a plane and take a holiday for a whole month and no one would really notice.  For some reason I still decide to do write or do research on days where I could (and probably should) call in sick.  During my last few months in industry, I was looking for every little excuse that would get me out of driving into the office for a day or two.  I think my health is currently worse (remember that stint of pneumonia in September, well I'm still in and out of sore throats and coughing bouts since then), but I'm so driven to do what I need to do that I don't even notice that perhaps some days I shouldn't even be working because I'm not thinking clearly.  Those days show up in editing, trust me. 

Here's where perspective comes in.  I'm way more stressed and busy than I was 2 years ago, but I'm a sadist who enjoys it...maybe.  Either way, I'm not finding excuses to avoid working.  This is kind of huge....because I'm innately lazy some days.

I guess that's a sign that you're exactly where you need to be at whatever point in life you're at--when you enjoy what you're doing and not looking for excuses to avoid work.  It's slowly starting to make sense.