I found this....it's awesome...

I collect quotes.  I have a few journals of them actually, and I usually have one or two good ones to put in at the end of every day....so if I say, "Can I quote you on that?" or something to that effect, I will and I do...as long as I can remember it, and most days I do.  I usually have a pretty good memory for important things about the people I meet, as opposed to remembering the scientific theory that I'm trying to master. 

Some of the quotes are funny, others are insightful, some witty and some really, really punny.  Some are cited, others not so much (oops, my bad).  Some I've heard, others I've read.  Each and every one of them is meaningful at the time which it's found.  That's what makes them special.  Some are long, others are short, some complex...like paragraphs long....others, maybe only three or four words.  Bottom line is that they are all important and I usually come back to them when I need a little boost or some inspiration.  I can tell when I wrote them in my journals too, the things I was going through at the time.  That's the weird part, because I don't date my journal....and that's on purpose.  I find that some of the most meaningful statements are the ones that are still relevant when I was younger. 

Tonight, I found a keeper:

Shes the girl
that believes that what comes around goes around.
The one that hopes for a better day.
The one that won’t give up on you.
She’s the girl that’s unlike the rest.
The one that spent her days smiling,
and her nights crying.
She’s the girl that would love to be loved.
The one that looks so damn strong, but feels so weak.
She’s the girl that picks herself up every time she falls.

Here's why it's meaningful:  (Get comfortable, could be a long ride)

People think I'm awesome. Some days I know why, most days I don't. I don't feel awesome most days, at least not on my own.  Obviously people see something in me that's pretty amazing.  You just don't go around telling people that they're awesome without proof.  That would be lying.  It's not nice to lie. 
Either way, I am the way I am because of the incredible and not-so-incredible people in my life. 

I am the way I am because of giggly, clicky teen aged girls.  To this day I'm deathly afraid of giggly, ditzy girls.  I'm almost 30 years old, and I still get paranoid that the annoying girls at the bus stop are snickering at me, because I'm a "loser".  It's sad.  I hope I never have a daughter, mostly so she won't have to go through the "You're a loser" phase...because if she's my kid, she's gonna be fucking brilliant.  She's going to get made fun of....poor kid. 
I think it started in grade 6.  I was dorky, I'll admit it.  Hell, I'm still dorky...it's part of why I'm awesome.  I wasn't one of the "cool girls".  I didn't get to sit with the pretty girls at lunch; I didn't get asked to go to dances; I didn't fit in. 
I know exactly what it's like to not fit in.  In fact, I don't think I finally "fit in" somewhere until I hit Engineering....I was 21.  I spent the first 21 years of my life bouncing around trying to figure out where I fit. 
Looking back on it, it's OK.  I turned out pretty OK.  I cared then, I still kind of care now, but I care less and less each day. 
My friend Dana calls it "Ugly Duck Syndrome".  I agree.  I'm still dorky, nerdy and a loser, but I've grown into it, and it's made me beautiful. 

Now for the analysis:

The first line is about believing what goes around comes around.  Totally agree.  That's why I try to be as nice to everyone as I can.  I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, only because I'd like to hope that they would do the same for me. 

I want to touch on "hopes for a better day", but it's late...and boy do I have a philosophy on "hoping for a better day"....I'll save it for another post.  Remind me in a week. 

The third line is what hit me, "She's the one that won't give up on you".  Maybe that's why I'm awesome.  I don't give up on people, and mostly I don't give up on myself.  That's why I'm awesome. 

The rest of the poem cuts deep, mostly because I do put on a good front and spend my days smiling.  I come home and yeah, I may spend my night crying.  It's OK.  I'm the crier.  I'm cool with it.  That's why I'm awesome. 

I'd love to be loved....and I know I am....thanks.  I love you guys too.  Thing is that I'd love to be loved romantically, I think we all would.  That's why I'm awesome.  (I'm purposefully repeating this.  You have to hear something 9 times for it to sink...I figure "hearing" and "typing" are the same thing here.  I may not hit 9, but I'll come close)  That's also why you're awesome. 

I look pretty strong....and I am pretty strong (physically at least)....but I feel really vulnerable and weak too, which is why I put up the titanium shield.  Last time I let it down, I got burned pretty bad.  It's gone back up.  I'm still weak in behind it. 

Either way, every time I fall, I do manage to pick myself up.  Sometimes it's instantaneous, other times is takes a little time.  That's cool.  I manage, because I'm awesome.  

I am the way I am because of all the people in my life, the bad ones....and the good ones.  I'm awesome because you all are awesome.